This is hilarious.

    I was browsing through random LJs and came across the following anecdote in a 
    journal dedicated to conversations overheard in Melbourne:

    american guy: "so how would you describe the difference between sydney and melbourne?"
    aussie: "well, melbourne is a lady and sydney is a whore." 

    HA HA HA. That Australian is my new hero.

I knew there was a reason why I had held back for so long to make my own MySpace page, save the fact that I thought the entire idea was ridiculous and hardly original AND that the layout of the "spaces" were quite aesthetically displeasing. When you offer your details on-line in that fashion, people you are quietly trying to ignore can FIND you. The very second my boring little space was up for all to see, people from long, long ago in my past suddenly sent friend requests to my in-box and, being the delightfully nice person I am (I can hear people scoffing at that description as I type), I didn't even think of knocking them back. Damn them, damn them all. Even with my minute on-line presence they managed to sniff me out. I should really delete my account if all that's going to come of it is my whines and complaints, but there are a few people with whom I *do* want to be in contact. Perhaps I could direct them to this livejournal, but then I'd have to censor what I type for fear of offending someone. Not that I do any serious soul-searching in here; those kind of entries are reserved for the journal I write in that actually exists.

Which gets me to thinking: why do I even write on-line? But I've answered my own question even before I've completed typing it. The creation of this journal was in order to keep connected with one particular person on the other side of the world (probably not an exact geographical location) with whom I used to be very close. I'm sure no one even reads this except for that person, and even then I'm sure they seldom visit. So, I'm going to conclude that now I basically write here for myself. Sometimes it's easier to type than to hunt around my room for a pen that actually has enough ink left in it to finish a short paragraph in my actual journal.

Took the following photograph at Erskine Falls during my summer vacation.



I am very much amused by it.

Cyanide and Happiness has got to be the best darn webcomic out there, says I.


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Keke...

I'm going to see 'Clerks 2' in the city today. I hope I'll be impressed.

Oh my god. The Dresden Dolls are coming back to Australia in September, and guess who immediately went out to buy a ticket? Me! *clasps it tightly in her hands, refusing to let go* Chris will be accompanying me, as will good old Bonnie if she ever gets off of her rear and sacrifices payment of a bill to buy her damned ticket. When they were here in 2004, I was one of the lucky audience members to receive a complimentary promotional DVD and had it signed when Amanda and Brian came out after the gig to meet us. They played a hilarious cover of 'Hit Me Baby One More Time' that night... I wonder what they have in store for us come September?

The one thing that irritates the f*&k out of me has to do with the "fashion" at the moment. In particular, a certain pair of jeans. I'm sure you've seen them; the 'skinny' jean that tapers as they go down the leg, making it virtually impossible to put them on without having to dislocate your ankles. They're disgusting to look at on the shelf in the store, and even more revolting seeing them on females in public. Do they seriously think they look good in them? THEY DON'T. And this just isn't a case of those overweight few who wear them, thinking they're HAWT because they're in the very latest (although that irks me to no end), it's also the thin girls trying to get away with it. Ugh. I'm shuddering right now because it's so horrible. Because this item is such a fashion phenomenon at the moment, it's very hard to find a pair of jeans that don't conform with this pattern. This frustrates me even more. I want to go shopping, dammit, but not until they bring in something I actually want to wear. Maybe I should copy my friend Yaelin and make my own clothes... at least then I wouldn't have to visit all of the stores in TWO shopping centres just to find one item of clothing worthy of spending my hard-earned (free from the government) money on.

Sigh.

Ever wanted to know the scientific name for the Lowland Gorilla? Take a look at this photograph I took of the answer at the Melbourne Zoo.
( Peek? )
Ha ha...

I was watching The Faculty for the 'god-knows-how-many' 'th time yesterday, which I own in my (slim) DVD collection, and noticed one dodgy line in the film that I hadn't classified as such during previous viewings. Most likely I had been sidetracked by the presence of Elijah Wood on screen, and, too busy 'appreciating' him, failed to recognise anything else. This must be the case, because the line was even uttered by him. As I watched the movie with my interest in Elijah not as intense as it might have once been (I did only buy the DVD because he starred in it, after all), I found that this was said:

"Then they chased us, but we got away."

Is it just me, or does the above sound so.. uh.. well, we might use the word LAME in this situation? Thumbs up to the script writers. Oh, and good old Elijah somehow makes the overall 'dodgyness' greater.

I should really be curled up in bed, fast asleep and dreaming of fairy tales and cake at the moment. Why am I awake and posting in an unimportant online journal that hasn't been updated in YEARS, you ask? Don't look at me, I have no answer to give you; just like I have no answer to give myself. Well, perhaps I can reason this out.. I AM awake and all.

>> Why is naian awake in the middle of the night?

Firstly, let me crush the answer you, the reader, have most likely concluded: NO, I am NOT drunk, nor have I just returned from a late night binge at a bar/club/party! Not one alcoholic beverage has touched my lips in the past few months, thank you very much! That should probably change... ANYWAY. I am awake because I have unknowingly (though obviously known now) conditioned my sleeping patterns that way. After the mid-semester examinations ended, I immediately unplugged my alarm clock and those green, glowing numerals have not been seen glaring at me through the darkness since. And as sleeping in gives way to staying up late, so a perpetual cycle began and I was powerless to move against it. Second semester looms, though, and I've been trying my hardest to undo the evils I've woven into such habits. Wait, that's a lie. I haven't been doing a bastard thing about it. That should probably change...

>> Why is naian posting in a journal that hasn't been updated in YEARS?

Um. Well, you could say that there exists a limited number of activities for one to amuse one's self with after the clock strikes a certain hour. It's even more restricted for a young lady living in Melbourne, contrary to what you may be thinking. What about the BARS? What about the 24 HOUR CASINO, naian? The CASINO? I can hear you. Did you not listen when I mentioned the whole 'young lady' thing? I don't think I'm brave enough to venture outside without an escort (NO, not THAT kind of escort =D) or at least a large posse of some kind surrounding me on all sides. Rape, murder and waylaying come to mind. So, what can one do all by one's self at such an hour? Oh? What? Did I hear someone say 'Post in an online journal' ? B I N G O.

There you go. Have your damned stinking answers =) .

Everybody!

You must set your alarms for 1:10am in the morning on the 6th of October. It will be very early Wednesday morning (or for some people, very late Tuesday night). I can't reveal anything now - just trust me when I tell you to tune your television in to SBS.

Haha, a Taiwanese 'porn king' is a leading candidate for Mayor of Bangkok. I really want this guy to win. VOTE 1 CHUWIT!

naian Look out for the

m HOLE

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

Um, I just received this email:

bowling ball for flies into a rage, but pickup truck from tea party assimilate starlet related to plaintiff.bullfrog from is slovenly.Most haunches believe that behind mating ritual seek dahlia near tenor.If pig pen over mating ritual sell to scythe defined by particle accelerator, then chain saw related to strokes.spider near mating ritual, beyond plaintiff, and living with traffic light are what made America great!

...

*blink*

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"


Mwahahaha.

Reason why I love Queer Eye for the Straight guy #2:

Straight guy: People say I look like Keano Reaves.
Kyan: People say I look like Keano Reaves, too.
Carson: ...people say I look like Ellen Degeneres.

Reason why I love Queer Eye for the Straight Guy #1.

*looking at clothes*
gay guy: This reminds me of my favourite musical.
guy: ...which is?
gay guy: Pirates of mens pants.

(quite obviously a play on 'Pirates of Penzance')

I was watching a Korean film the other night (needless to say I've forgotten the title already) and during it there was one instance where I could be heard laughing all the way from a fish market in China.

A man and woman are out on their first (and last) date. She excuses herself to make a phone call and refreshen her makeup, and when she returns the man notes, "Oh, you put lipstick on." The woman smiles, bows her head and replies, "Yes.. you're very observant, it was only a touch-up." To this the man says, "Oh, no, you've got some on your teeth."

Then he laughed, so I laughed because he looked cute laughing.

Let me first point out that had it not been the early hours of the morn and I had not just eaten an entire jar of Nutella, then the odds of the following list ever being composed are minimal.


100 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Lauren.

1. She uses the aid of a straw to drink hot beverages.
2. She can't leave the room with music still playing, even if it's for one second and she plans to return immediately. The music must be paused.
3. She wears a broken necklace around her left wrist as a bracelet.
4. She purposely leaves the television on while sleeping.
5. She loves words.
6. She used to own a Britney Spears album.
7. She never had crushes - she found people interesting.
9. She has broken four (known) hearts and made one (known) male cry.
10. She loves the voice of whoever sung as Aladdin in the movie (especially in 'A whole new world')
11. She's a picky eater.
12. She doesn't spread butter/margarine on her bread when making sandwiches.
13. She loves sending things through the postal service.
14. She loves receiving things through the postal service even more.
15. She doesn't watch Friends and can't understand how anyone could possibly find it even remotely hilarious.
16. She can watch Baseketball over and over again (mainly because of her interest in Trey Parker)
17. Liz Taylor's perfume 'White Diamonds' brings back her memories of playing Zelda: The Ocarina of Time during the Christmas season when she was fifteen or thereabouts.
18. She keeps a journal.
19. She thinks Maaya Sakamoto is a goddess.
20. Linkin Park's first album, Hybrid Theory, brings back her memories of playing James Bond: Golden Eye on playstation.
21. She has a John Cusak obsession.
22. She watches all the Asian film she can get her hands on (thank god for SBS)
23. She couldn't play more than half-an-hour of Final Fantasy 1 through to 5 because the graphics were so bad.
24. She loves the sound of water.
25. She has a surprising interest in Hugh Grant.
26. She loves hearing a freaking brilliant song for the first time.
27. She thinks Elijah Wood is H-O-T.
28. But she thinks his acting ability was more credible as a child.
29. She is in love.
30. At this very moment she is listening to a song called 'Digital Shockwave' by Korean band Cherry Filter.
31. She eats nutella from the jar.
32. She laughs when Julia quotes: 'I hate it how people trip in the street and then work it into their walk as if they had meant to do it in the first place' then acts out an example.
33. She writes with her left hand but uses her right hand to do everything else.
34. She plans to write and publish a novel one day.
35. She has had a brush with the law.
36. She watches The Simpsons, but quotes from the series are only funny to her when she talks about them with Sophie, Shaun or Chris.
37. She wishes she were a better person.
38. She has days where she just feels stupid.
39. NIHONGO DAISUKI~~~
40. She has random Hikaru Utada moods.
41. Family members have taken to singing 'I think I'm turning Japanese' in her presence.
42. She envies those who can believe in God or an ultimate force.
43. Aside from Elijah Wood, she also thinks Hideaki Takizawa is H.O.T
44. She doesn't take compliments well.
45. She loves hazelnut chocolate.
46. She reads fantasy novels.
47. She has a scarf fetish.
48. She spends too much money.
49. She has a popcorn box hanging on her wall (a memento from The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring)
50. She can't understand why movie stars come to Australia and rave about "how wonderful" it is down here.
51. She is shy.
52. She has a vicious mean streak.
53. She watched Sister Act the other day and was shocked to find herself singing along, word for word, to all of the songs featured.
54. She now curses her parental units for purchasing the Sister Act soundtrack years ago and forcing herself and siblings to listen to it.
55. She was a fan of the new episodes of The Love Boat.
56. She hopes Shakespeare is rotting in hell.
57. She eats raw potato (as a result of her mother feeding it to her as a child to shut her up while she was cooking dinner)
58. Once, hot spaghetti on the plate she was carrying slid off and onto her sisters arm (who was a baby at the time), who then had to be rushed to hospital and wear her arm in plaster for one month.
59. She laughs at people who walk into trees.
60. She loves denim jeans.
61. She loves the way Rufus flicks back his hair in Final Fantasy VII.
62. BoA's voice can sometimes grate on her nerves.
63. She hates Luigi (Mario's sidekick) with a passion.
64. She used to play the guitar, mandolin, recorder and keyboard.
65. She now royally sucks at playing the previously mentioned instruments.
66. Airports fascinate her.
67. She writes letters and forgets to send them.
68. After the death of her electric blanket she now is rarely seen without a hot water bottle cradled in her arms.
69. Her favourite place in the whole world is her bed.
70. She often coins phrases as her own, for example: 'royally' 'that's not cool' and 'I'll be forced to horizontalize your perpendicularity' to name a few.
71. Including herself, there are eleven people in her immediate family.
72. She HAS to know the time at any given moment.
73. She hates any anime that involves a game/raising and battling monsters/competition etc.
73. 'Crucifix' by Lo-tel was the song that stole her from the pop music scene and had her focusing on more unknown, alternative bands.
74. She can watch back-to-back Scooby Doo episodes for as long as she can stay awake.
75. She loves watching theatre productions (they make her feel very cultured)
76. She remembers the first time her Japanese teacher wrote her name in katakana and complaining that it was ugly.
77. She still thinks it looks ugly.
78. The first Japanese song she heard was 'Smoke' by Cornelius, which she heard on an Australian alternative radio station, Triple J. Suumokkkkkkkkkkkkkke~
79. She thinks Merrick and Rosso are the most hilarious comedic duo gracing the airwaves at this moment in time.
80. When she was twelve an article she had written about a school excursion was published in the local newspaper. Unfortunately, they edited out an important part of the day and kept: 'I had two sausages and a drink for lunch.'
81. She thinks Ayumi Hamasaki is overrated, but worships her anyway.
82. She has given up all hope of ever playing any Final Fantasy game past IX.
83. She wants a region-free DVD player so she can buy the Moon Child DVD.
84. She has an extremely fast metabolism.
85. She is amused to see the faces of people who, after they had called her skinny, she calls fat in return.
86. It pisses her off when siblings drink the last of her orange juice and then fill the carton up with water, ignorantly assuming she won't notice anything out of the ordinary.
87. She gets sick of songs very easily.
88. She can't eat day old bread. It HAS to be fresh or she just can't/won't eat it.
89. It's midnight at the moment, so she warns you not to expect the next eleven facts to make sense.
90. Tomoyo's voice from CCS is so high she has to cringe when she listens to it.
91. It took 22 days and $40 worth of shipping + handling costs for HMV to deliver her latest order.
92. She wrote the last two facts in first person before correcting them to conform with the rest of the facts.
93. She wants to know why there were never any awesome toys for children when she was young.
94. She wants a medicinal/cooking herb garden.
95. She wants a well in her backyard.
96. She was searching the Internet one day and found a site that sold earrings crafted out of perfectly preserved koala crap. The same site also sold kangaroo scrotums.
97. She is now listening to "Seein' Red" by Unwritten Law.
98. She hates to repeat herself.
99. She hates to repeat herself (I'm sorry. I had to do it. I just had to)
100. As a preteen, she was secretly in love with Tuxedo Mask's voice from Sailor Moon (eng. ver.)


HA! This should make up for not posting for weeks on end. And please excuse any spelling errors made because, might I remind you, the list was written late at night/early in the morning after watching countless reruns of bad sitcoms.

I have an overwhelming sense of lethargy at the moment. I'm finding it hard to bring myself to take more than three footsteps in any one direction, which is bad because I have intense hunger pains and should really make myself some pasta or anything edible OTHER than chocolate based treats (which, thanks to the holiday season, is practically all I've been consuming since the beginning of this month).

Seriously, I'm feeling so lazy right now that I can't even access adequate strength to type something intelligent and worthy of reading in this here journal. SEE! And listening to a cutsie, upbeat song in a foreign language isn't even helping.

Test.